Before I was a mum I heard about baby brain many times. I definitely didn’t think ‘baby brain’ would happen to me. I may have thought it was just an excuse people used; pre-parenting judgement #1.
Since becoming a mum I have learnt that baby brain is DEFINITELY a thing.
I wasn’t great at remembering things before. But I am so much worse now.
And it’s so frustrating. I have forgotten words that I used to know. I get half way through a sentence and just can’t bring the word to mind. My vocabulary has definitely gone to pot. I absentmindedly forget to do things that I’ve said I’ll do. To do lists have become an important part of my life.
Baby brain my friends, is real!
Pregnancy changes your body in so many ways. On the whole I loved my pregnant body. I loved seeing how my body changed as I grew a little human inside of me and back pain that I’d had pre-pregnancy went away with the extra relaxin which was a definite win. My only pre-pregnancy sadness came in the form of those pesky stretch marks. I’ve got to admit, I quite liked my pre-pregnancy tummy. So when little stretch marks started popping up on my stomach I was more than a little sad. I tried regularly using cocoa butter, moisturising often but nothing stopped them coming.
Post pregnancy I spent quite a long time being sad that they were going to be there forever. My body has changed a lot but this was a part I saw very visibly every day.
But seventeen months on and I have now actually grown to love them. So much so that I even considered wearing a bikini on holiday; a far cry from the shame I felt in those first post birth months.
For me my stretch marks tell a story. One of the most precious stories of my life. I have been encouraged by other women vulnerably sharing their story of their body changes and embracing the change and yes, admittedly as they have faded somewhat, I have come to love that these are a marker of my life. And they also mark the incredibleness of a woman’s body. To stretch and shape to accommodate a human life is one of the most miraculous things and one of the most beautiful of God’s creations. For that, I am thankful.
Losing weight was a particular body battle for me and one I still battle with today. Several mums I know have gone back to their pre baby shape in a couple of months, some less so, so when I was still carrying around my extra comfyness and still wearing maternity clothes a few months in I definitely started to feel a bit miserable. I can’t say I helped myself – those six months of anxiety, tears and worries meant I consumed an awful lot of chocolate.
It’s taken me over a year to actually commit to getting back in shape, to really work hard to eat well and to start realising that actually, my body might not ever return to it’s original shape and that has got to be ok. I found fitting in exercise really tricky until I came across these great post natal pilates workouts on YouTube; they’re simple to follow, short enough to do one or mash two together if you have time and I found them so relaxing.
Today, I don’t love every bit of my body. I think that’ll take time.
But I’m definitely much more content in what I look like today.