It’s been about a month now since I started a second job which means I’m working on a rotation of two days one week and three the next. When I initially started working one day a week that felt completely manageable as I still had most of my time with Estie and that balance felt great.
When I was offered this second job, we talked lots about whether this was the right decision, I prayed a LOT and really questionned whether it was what I wanted. It’s so hard to know what is right to do as a mum – for yourself and for your little one. I am so thankful in those moments for my faith and when I prayed about the decision I felt like God said “In releasing Esther to spend time with other people, she will thrive and you will thrive.” This gave me the encouragement I needed to say yes and here I am today.
What made it easier for me is that we have some fantastic friends who childmind Esther on these extra work days. She absolutely loves spending time with them and their girls and we know that she is so loved and safe and is having the best time. And I honestly do think we have both thrived in the change.
My new job is in communications which means I get to write for a living – what more could an aspiring blogger want?! And I have found that I so look forward to my days with Esther and really value them now. I remember after my first three day week waking up and thinking ‘YES, today is my Esther day!’ If I’m honest I hadn’t had this before because every day was a day with Esther and it can be hard to value how wonderful that it is in the daily grind and monotony of mum life. I get life from my job and this spills into my home life, giving me more energy to have fun with E and to get stuff done around the house. Having less time with her also means I make better choices of how I spend it with her so we do more fun focused play which we both enjoy.
It’s not all fun and games though. There are days where we’re late home and it means literally grabbing half an hour of pre-bed cuddles and reading before she’s down for the night. Yesterday she was sick and I couldn’t be there to cuddle her and tell her I was there; those are the heartbreaking moments. This week, after a combination of many nights of broken sleep, tiredness has caught up on me and Jonny, so work has been hard and home has been hard. Esther is also in the phase of learning to push boundaries; figuring out how far she can go and not doing what she would normally do when she’s asked. It’s fascinating seeing another stage but when you are already so tired it is brain draining trying to figure out how we help her do this stage well and communicate respectfully with her in it. All of these things tied together has meant I’ve been in my pjs by 7.30 most nights and making the wrong decision by not just going to bed! That’s when it feels hard to be at work alongside being a mama.
I do know I have made the right choice for where I am now in life. I really do love that I get to be a mum, an events manager and a communications manager. It’s definitely a varied combination. It may not be a forever thing but right now I know I’m where I meant to be.
Are you a working mama or a stay at home mum? How did you decide what to do?