Bye bye baby

Tonight was a rare treat of a night in all by myself [not counting the sleeping baby of course]! In my head this looked like a cup of hot chocolate with baileys in hand, pjs on, a blog post written and a book to get lost in. In reality it looked like hanging up washing, folding away dry clothes, tidying up, prepping for a prayer event I’m hosting on Sunday and packing for a weekend away. How does this always happen?!

Anyway, that’s not really the reason for today’s post. There’s obviously no-one in the house for me to share my thoughts with so where else better than here?! Packing for the weekend brings me back to the actual reason for this blog post … my first night away from Esther.

Some of my uni girls are getting together for the first time that we’ve all been able to make it in a good few years and I am bobbing along for a day and a half to join the fun. Don’t get me wrong, I am very much looking forward to a catch up, a rest for my full brain, an actual night out, maybe a cocktail or two and some good quality time with the girls but I am also super sad to be missing time with Esther.

Daddy and Esther will totally rock it and have a great time together. They are totally in love, laugh a lot, thrive off their fortnightly Daddy/daughter days and Jonny absolutely bosses the Dad thing 95% of the time. I have no worries leaving them together. But there is a wee bit of heart ache that I’ll miss precious time with them and won’t be there on Sunday morning to give my little girl cuddles and her first feed. I won’t be there to watch them laugh together. I won’t be able to keep a check on what Daddy is dressing her in. I jest, Jonny dresses her so well…mostly!

I’ve missed a couple of evening and bed times when we went to a wedding without Esther and when I’ve had to work but this will be the first morning I haven’t been with her.

It had to be done some time and I’m glad I’m doing it with the lovely ladies that I am. It really has been too too long! But Esther, I will miss you dearly love.

How did you mamas find leaving your little ones for the first time? How old were they when you did it? I’d love to hear your stories!


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